Thursday, July 20, 2006

From the Blastocyst Community Bulletin...

There will be a new blastocyst orientation session at the Federal Building on Market Street at 2pm (use the side door). All blastocysts will receive a Social Security number, $50 cash and a free copy of the Employment Times.
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The annual Blastocyst pancake supper will be held at the Grange Hall Sunday from 6am `til 11am. Cost is $5 ($3 for embryoblasts 8 days and under). Because of last year's maple syrup disaster, powdered sugar will be substituted.
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FOR SALE---framed portrait of President Bush signing the Blastocyst Civil Rights Act of 2006. Autographed on back by Sen. Brownback. $10 + s&h. 555-1323.
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All of us at BCB mourn the passing of associate editor Hank Grindle, 12 days, a long-standing member of the local blastocyst community for 7 days and 3 hours. In lieu of flowers, contributions can be made to the VFW. Our condolences to Gladys, his wife of 10 days and 8 hours.
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BLASTOCYST ROOMMATE wanted to share 2-bedroom apartment on west end. $575 + utilities. Non-smoker preferred. Pets negotiable. No vacuum cleaners. 555-3421.
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BLASTAEROBICS! Come move and groove to a hip-hop beat at Marcy's Gym. Great way to make friends while increasing your lifespan by up to 36 hours! You'll have a BLAST! 555-MOVEIT.
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FOR SALE: Petri dish. 4-inch diameter, like new. Only used by my grandmother on Sunday. $10 or best offer. 555-9845.
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Feeling small? Join the Dale Carnegie blastocyst support group. Professional moderator helps you speak with confidence and raise self-esteem. Stay afterward for free résumé-building workshop.

(I can't take credit for this...it's practically viral, but I thought it worthy of a post. Oops. Just found out the source from the guy who sent it to me. "That bastion of angry liberal bloggers at www.dailykos.com ".)

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